I am absolutely in denial for the past few months since I've known, don't blame me for that, I may once a kid, you may find it that I had no clue of what's going on, but I knew, and felt it.
I don't want to accept or remember that fact it happened and may happen again, death is part of our cycle, but knowing someone close to you is having the cancer, its not easy, I lost one and I can't loose another one.
I prefer not to open up the subject or talk or ask about it, I prefer to close the door and believe that the person is healthy, safe, and sound. Now people may understand how painful for my sibling and I, or others maybe saying, "They don't remember at all."
I avoid calling, scared to hear the bad news; 'Guilty', yes I am and I know I may one day regret it.
"Sorry about that, I'm not that strong."
Time is up for denial, I have to force my self to accept it, because I'll have to face it as soon they step in the plane and back home.
Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone from Nawras
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