Jul 26, 2010

Ten Biggest Mistakes Women Make Before Marriage

I read this article and I want to share it with you:

10. Believing in '..and they lived happily ever after". Women are fed romantic ideals from the day they are born. Books and movies aimed at girls invariably promote the big wedding to the perfect man as the ideal ending. The truth is, marriage is hard work! A more realistic perspective would be that marriage is about 20% happiness, 30% contentment and 50% plain hard work! Going into marriage with a realistic attitude will prevent a lot of disappointment.

9. Believing that they can change him. Women have a tendency to gloss over qualities they don't like in a man, telling themselves 'oh, he'll change' or 'I'll work on that'. It doesn't work, because you can't force a person to change. If you do manage to bully him into changing, your relationship will suffer. Either accept and enjoy the differences between you or create an environment that encourages him to want to change for you.

8. Believing that he will always be romantic. Often women have very unrealistic expectations based on the way their partner behaved during the courtship phase. Unfortunately, most men heave a big sigh of relief once they have won you because they think 'hey, I can relax now and stop doing all that girly stuff'! That doesn't mean you have to give up on romance, just don't expect a 'grand gesture' every day.

7. Losing self. Getting into an intense relationship before they've developed a clear sense of their own identity is another common mistake young women make. Without a clear sense of self, women identify overly with their partner and find it difficult to stand up for themselves and their own needs. A woman with a strong sense of identity, however, is a more interesting and equal partner.

6. Giving up friends and interests. With the thrill of being in love, it is too easy for women to put friends and family, hobbies and sports on the backburner. This is a fundamental mistake to make because a) women depend on support networks throughout their lives and b) men just can't be everything to a woman. It is asking too much of them. It is important to maintain a happy balance in your life.

5. Rushing into marriage. It almost seems to be a race across the wedding finishing line for many young women. Marriage can last an eternity, but your single 20s only last a decade at the most! Don't rush into it. Just because you found the man you want to spend the rest of your life with, doesn't mean you have to marry him straight away. Enjoy your youth so that you will not have any regrets later.

4. Not having conversations about serious issues. Talk to your partner about where you both stand on issues that can make or break a marriage. Talk about the number of children you both want, are you intending to stay home to raise them, where your priorities lie, spending styles, dreams and goals, where you see yourself 20 years from now, parenting styles, sharing of responsibilities, etc. You need to know beforehand if his beliefs are incompatible with yours. This alone can determine how happy or conflicted your marriage is.

Also, have discussions about ground rules. Negotiations should be conducted before you sign on the dotted line. Too many of us rush into marriage and then spend the first decade negotiating the details! Sit down and nut out the details before you get married. Work out the basic rules that you both need to follow in order to have a happy marriage. It is important to be realistic, though, and to not agree to any rules that you know are unreasonable. Sex every day may work for him but it probably won't for you! Also, realize that these rules may need to be renegotiated now and then, such as when you have children.

3. Having a close relationship before sussing out the guy. Research shows that women are genetically programmed to fall in love with someone they have a close relationship with. Make sure that he is someone you have the potential to be happy with, before you do anything. Afterwards, your hormones are likely to override your commonsense. Sometimes this work because your fundamental beliefs are the same but don't let your hormones make that decision for you.

2. Settling. A lot of women start to panic if they aren't married by their mid-20s, and god forbid they reach 30 without being married! That ol' biological clock starts ticking loudly. The result is that they make excuses and rationalizations to themselves about a relationship that is already dull and past its use-by date, or which they know has serious issues. Marrying someone because you are afraid to be alone is unfair to yourself and your partner. Someone once said 'I don't want to spend a lifetime turning a bad relationship into an average one; I want to start with a good relationship and make it a great one'. Hear, hear.

And the No. 1 mistake women make is

1. Getting married because they are 'in love'. Being in love is not a good enough reason to marry. We can fall in love for many reasons - it doesn't mean the man you have fallen in love with will be a good partner. Choosing a good partner makes all the difference between having a harmonious marriage and a difficult marriage. You need to seriously question how well you two can work together for a lifetime. Do you complement each other? Does he make you feel like a better person or a lesser one?

Sue Dillicar, writer, wife and mother
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Jul 24, 2010

Places in Oman, I'm not planning to dine

Some restaurants I'm not interested or planing to visit at all because of the type of food, location and ambiance.

I managed to capture some of the names and share it with:

Japengo - Too open, a place attracts people (who drive or walk) to stare at you while eating.

Wasabi Sushi - Raw food make me sick.

Tche Tche - I don't do smoking zone.

Ubhar - the ambiance didn't attract me, despite the good recommendations by family and friend.

Biella - Not into Italian food.

I thank @omanicuisine (Omani Cuisine) via @twitter for its live review.

Visit its website for full reviews and places you never been in Oman before via http://www.omanicuisine.com and follow http://twitter.com/omanicuisine for live and quick review.
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Jul 23, 2010

دعاء الأم

اللهم إنك تراها:
فإن رأيت والدتي مذنبه فأغفر لها
وإن رأيتها حزينه أسعد قلبها
وإن رأيتها فرحه فاتمم عليها فرحها
وإن كانت مريضه، فيارب أشفها
وإن كانت مهمومه،فيارب أبعد همها
وإن كانت مرهقة، فبشرها بالأجر العظيم
اللهم آمين اللهم آمين اللهم آمين
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Oman's 40th Renaissance Day

Today, 23rd July 2010 Oman celebrates 40th Renaissance Day. Allot of greetings and ads been following from Oman's people and organizations.

Part of people traveled out of the country and others out of station for camping or to Salalah to enjoy the beauty of autumn, while the rest of Oman enjoys the summer's heat.

My way of celebration is planning breakfasts, lunches and dinners in cafes and restaurants with friends and family.

Enjoy it, while it last.
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Dreaming is a free ticket to reality

I entered the kitchen and so three domestic workers busy preparing breakfast and lunch at the same time and having conversation in English, a common language as their are from Asia and Africa.

I greeted them and picked up my plate and filled it with the friday dish of foul, kind on beans.

Salma, the African woman started to say some words in Filipino dialog, she turned towards me, laughed and said "Don't laugh at me for speaking Filipino", I smiled and said "Its ok, like Anna is talking Swahili too."

Anna said "When we become Madams, Salma will go to Philippines and I will go to Africa." I smiled and said, "Inshaa Allah (when God will)", Anna continued "I'll be saying bring me tea, afterwards bring me food, etc" Salma interrupted her by saying "Never be rude, because God is testing you."

And Susan, an Asian said "Her dream to be actress," and she really has a bit of skill to act as innocent.

I left with a smile and wishing that their dreams comes true, like Filipino maid inherits millions from her former dead Singapore employer after 21 years of service.

One day, those who work for us may be richer then us, or their are actually richer then us with faith in God.

http://sg.news.yahoo.com/afp/20100721/tap-people-singapore-philippines-society-06f3cb7.html
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Jul 21, 2010

We want another season of RamadhanTV.com

I'd like to thank Blue Chi and Co. For launching RamadhanTV blog, about the Arabic series which will be broadcasting in Middle Eastern free-aired satellite TV channels.

The http://www.ramadhantv.com <http://www.ramadhantv.com/>
Posts daily coverage of TV shows during the month of Ramadhan. It stated in year 2007.

I hope Blue Chi and Co. Will continue their contributions.
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Jul 14, 2010

Fadlallah and the West

As the Muslims morning for the death of the Muslim and Shiite Cleric Grand Ayatollah Mohammed Hussein Fadlallah, whom I don't know much about but been hearing about his goodness and respected Muslim leader, his death affected the world.

Some expressed their condolences and some got criticized for their honestly and showing their feelings towards a fellow human based on their personal experience and others got fired from their jobs because of that.

All that happened in Western countries and follow and support Israeli government.

Beside those who are praising the late Fadlallah are not Muslims.

The action of those governments and organizations made it clear message that they are anti-Islam and anti-Muslims.

I admit I don't know much about the late Fadlallah, but proud how the non-Muslims praise him, he has left a mark of his present.

God bless his soul.
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Jul 7, 2010

Omar Bin Laden and surrogate pregnancy

It took me a while to come up with a good catchy title includes 'Muslim' or 'Islam' and 'Surrogate', but I finally came up with 'Omar Bin Laden and surrogate pregnancy'.

I was pretty surprised when I read an article about Omar Bin Laden, the son of Osma Bin Laden, who is born as a Muslim from Muslim parents, and raised on Islamic believes and now going to have a child from his 50+ wife through surrogate pregnancy.

The process by injecting one of 35 frozen embryos of his wife to the surrogate mom, which her eggs has been fertilized by Omar two years ago in a private clinic.

The whole concept of having a surrogate pregnancy is forbidden in Islam, as the child shares blood of the surrogate mom and feeds from her the whole pregnancy period, their other religious reasons.

I don't know how Osama will react, even the Bin Ladens, will Omar life be in danger for his wanting a child of his own? God knows.
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The cards

Its the moment of silence, the cards are shuffled, each player in their position, the cards are placed in front of them, covered up, no one knows what's hidden for them.

Its a mystery of its own, one player uncovered his card, his the winner, after making allot of losses because of his playing wrong cards, after been the top of his games.

Others players' cards are still uncovered, predictions vs facts, time will tell who walks away with the winning card and who won't.

Time will heal, memories will remain, people will cry and laugh, and in some day, history will repeat it self.

Time is up, pack your bag and step down, take other train for the next destination.

I wish you the best.

P.S. No one is perfect, even me, and so is my English.
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Jul 5, 2010

Twitter Cake made it at All Colour Passport

Today, 5th July 2010, Muscat Tweeps has celebrated the Muscat Tweet Up event with 'All Colour Passport' at Cafe Ceramique (Araimi Complex) with extra twist, they had home made Twitter Cake! Which became the talk of the town in Twitter valley.

It has been prepared by Janan, an Omani whom known by her home made cakes with creative frostings.

Kindly view the cake: http://twitpic.com/22oxz3

Jul 3, 2010

Discarded

I wrote a long post, topic titled 'The clock is ticking' and instead of clicking on 'Save' the draft, I clicked on 'Discard'. I lost the whole post within a second.

I am pretty much angry after dedicated part of my time to write, I don't know if I will write the post again, I must do it, maybe I will write it much better then I did before, no energy for now.
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Jul 1, 2010

'The Family Mentor' project no more

I sat silently in the car, thinking of the project I was dreaming of doing over 3 years ago, which I thought it will benefit everyone in my family personally and professionally.

My dream was create future writers (and one day might become authors), with simple tasks:
1- Write about something you are interested in.
2- Add a reference: a book, magazine, article or a website.
3- Attempt writing in Arabic.

The dream was shattered with excuses, which left the journal abandoned, forgotten and shelved (in private viewing mode).

No one is willing to write, chatting and social networking takes less effort to write a decent post, which will help for future. Death to the future writers, why to write? Twitter is the future.

Yes, I am pretty much in sarcastic mood, I don't blame them from been from the 'X' generation. I wanted them to extract the 'X' factor and polish it to shine to become like the 'Freedom Writers', no one's dream can come true, only if they wanted too, their interest and passion is not writing, why force them!

Best wishes to them and for the project, also to whom adopts such project within their family, relatives and community.

"Don't kill your dream, take it somewhere else and do it". Yes, I'll look for another group to do the project, who will be interested in developing their writing skills. I admit I have lack in some skills and I am trying to improve it.

Farewell 'The Family Mentor' journal, farewell to its prospective future writers, and farewell to the reader until another post.
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