Few modified Murphy's Laws

Some modifed Murphy's Laws from my inbox.

• Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.
• To Err is human, to forgive is not a COMPANY policy.
• The road to success??.. Is always under construction.
• Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but if you think again, neither does Milk.
• In order to get a Loan, you first need to prove that you don't need it.
• All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive or fattening or married to someone else.
• Since Light travels faster than Sound, people appear brighter before you hear them speak.
• Everyone has a scheme of getting rich?.. Which never works.
• If at first you don't succeed?. Destroy all evidence that you ever tried.
• You can never determine which side of the bread to butter.
• If it falls down, it will always land on the buttered side.
• Anything dropped on the floor will roll over to the most inaccessible corner.
• As soon as you mention something.. if it is good, it is taken.. If it is bad, it happens.
• He who has the gold, makes the rules ---- Murphy's golden rule.
• If you come early, the bus is late. If you come late?? the bus is still late.
• Once you have bought something, you will find the same item being sold somewhere else at a cheaper rate.
• When in a queue, the other line always moves faster and the person in front of you will always have the most complex of transactions.
• If you have paper, you don't have a pen... If you have a pen, you don't have paper... if you have both, no one calls.
• If you have bunked the class, the professor has taken attendance.
• You will pick up maximum wrong numbers when on roaming.
• The door bell or your mobile will always ring when you are in the bathroom.
• After a long wait for bus no.20, two 20 number buses will always pull in together ,and the bus which you get in will be more crowded than the other.
• If your exam is tomorrow, there will be a power cut tonight.
• Irrespective of the direction of the wind, the smoke from the cigarette will always tend to go to the non-smoker.