Now it sinked in

The day of Eid, I felt my heart has just crashed, it just sinked in, my father has died, I won't go to see him today nor tomorrow or for the rest of my life; I won't wish be able to wish him, to see his face full of suprise and happiness expression of seen me and my sibling came to greet him in the morning.

I walked to my baby sister and told her how I felt, couple of days ago we were arguing about reducing number of houses we have to visit, on that day I disagreed with her, but in Eid morning, I told her I'm fine with it, I managed to reduce over half of the houses, we both couldn't manage to walk-in allot of people, our heart couldn't take it anymore, we were mourning in our on way all this time, trying to be braive.

When we went to have Eid breakfast for the first time in my life since moved in Oman, I greeted my uncle then I ran back to my room, I cried for the first snice my dad's death.

I am just praying for him when ever I remember him. I miss him allot.

I feel my life has changed allot, my principles and concept of life, family, etc. I realised I am not social enough that I don't visit most of my relatives and don't know most of them. I don't want to be unknown or forgoten, I don't want to be a stranger within my people.