A Simple thing called marriage

A simple message from my friends, I thought of sharing with you:

A Simple thing called marriage……

‘When it comes to making the decision about choosing a life partner, no one wants to make a mistake. Yet, with a divorce rate of close to 50-60 percent, it appears that many are making serious mistakes in their approach to finding Mr/Ms Right! If you ask most couples who are engaged why they’re getting married, they’ll say: ‘We’re in love.” this is the #1 mistake people make when they date.

Choosing a life partner should never be based on love (alone). Though this may sound not politically correct, there’s a profound truth here. Love (alone) is not the basis for getting married. Rather, love is the result of a good marriage. When the other ingredients are right, then the love will come. Let me say it again: You can’t build a lifetime relationship on love alone. You need a lot more. Here are questions you must ask yourself if you’re serious about finding and keeping a life partner.

QUESTION #1:

Do we share a common life purpose? Why is this so important? Let me put it this way: If you’re married for 20 or 30 years, that’s a long time to live with someone. What do you plan to do with each other all that time? Travel, eat and jog together? You need to share something deeper and more meaningful. You need a common life purpose. Two things can happen in a marriage. You can grow together, or you can grow apart. 50 percent of the people out there are growing apart. To make a marriage work, you need to know what you want out of life - bottomline - and marry someone who wants the same thing.

QUESTION #2:

Do I feel safe expressing my feelings and thoughts with this person? This question goes to the core of the quality of your relationship. Feeling safe means you can communicate openly with this person. The basis of having good communication is trust! i. e. trust that I won’t get ‘punished’ or hurt for expressing my honest thoughts and feelings. A colleague of mine defines an abusive person as someone with whom you feel afraid to express your thoughts and feelings. Be honest with yourself on this one. Make sure you feel emotionally safe with the person you plan to marry.

QUESTION #3:

Is he/she a mensch? A mensch is someone who is a refined and sensitive person. How can you test? Here are some suggestions. i) Do they work on personal growth on a regular basis? ii) Are they serious about improving themselves? A teacher of mine defines a good person as ’someone who is always striving to be good and do the right thing’. ‘So, ask about your significant other: What do they do with their time? Is this person materialistic?’ Usually, a materialistic person is not someone whose top priority is character refinement. There are essentially two types of people in the world: People who are dedicated to personal growth and people who are dedicated to seeking comfort. Someone whose goal in life is to be comfortable will put personal comfort ahead of doing the right thing. You need to know that before walking down the aisle.

QUESTION #4:

How does he/she treat other people? The one most important thing that makes any relationship work is the ability to give. By giving, we mean the ability to give another person pleasure. Ask: Is this someone who enjoys giving pleasure to others or are they wrapped up in themselves and self-absorbed? To measure this, think about the following: i) How do they treat people whom they do not have to be nice to, such as waiters, bus boys, taxi drivers, etc? ii) How do they treat parents and siblings? Do they have gratitude and appreciation? Do they show respect? If they don’t have gratitude for the people who have given them everything, you cannot expect that they’ll have gratitude for you - who can’t do nearly as much for them! iii) Do they gossip and speak badly about others? Someone who gossips cannot be someone who loves others. You can be sure that someone who treats others poorly, will eventually treat you poorly as well.

QUESTION #5:

Is there anything I’m hoping to change about this person after we’re married? Too many people make the mistake of marrying someone with the intention of trying to ‘improve’ them after they’re married. As a colleague of mine puts it, ‘You can probably expect someone to change after marriage … for the worse!’ If you cannot fully accept this person the way they are now, then you are not ready to marry them. In conclusion, dating doesn’t have to be difficult and treacherous. The key is to try leading a little more with your head and less with your heart. It pays to be as objective as possible when you are dating, to be sure to ask questions that will help you get to the key issues. Falling in love is a great feeling, but when you wake up with a ring on your finger, you don’t want to find yourself in trouble because you didn’t do your homework.

So here comes the most important question: HOW WILL I KNOW IF I’VE MET THE PERSON I SHOULD MARRY?

The choice of a marriage partner should not be based on ‘I get a warm, wonderful feeling whenever we’re together and I want to have that warm wonderful feeling forever, so let’s go get married’. Feelings, as we have discussed, have no logic on their own. They need to be acknowledged, of course, but they need considerable assistance from your brain. Marriage means choosing the person you will spend the rest of your life with. This, as you may have guessed, is a very long time to spend with one person. This person will live with you, eat meals with you, sleep with you and go on vacation with you. More important yet, this person will share your children. You need to choose wisely. The decision should not be made based on feelings alone. You need to ask yourself some tough questions.

The decisions have to be made on solid considerations.

· Will this person be a good partner?

· Is she/he mature enough to put her own selfish desires aside to look out for what is best for the family?

· Is he prepared to be a good provider?

· What is his track record?

· Is he responsible enough to get a good job and keep it?

· Will this person be a good parent?

Can you stand the thought of your children turning out exactly like this person?

They will, you know. Children spend a lot of time with their parents and consequently pick up many or most of their parents’ character traits. You had better like your spouse’s traits a lot because you will be seeing them again in your children.

If something were to happen to you, would you completely trust this person alone, with the task of raising and forming your children? This is not a pleasant thought, but it is an important consideration. Not everyone dies at a ripe old age with great grandchildren gathered around the bed. Sometimes a parent dies and leaves young children in the care of the other parent. If you feel that you would need to be around to correct or lessen this person’s influence on your children, then you are considering the wrong person.

Does this person share your faith in God/ Spiritualism?

God does not give us children so that we can mould them into the coolest, most popular people in school. Our job is to make them responsible, humble, spiritual and balanced human beings. To do that, we need to raise them believing in God and or being spiritual. It is tough to do that if only one parent believes or is spiritual. Saying ‘This is right and that is wrong, and I want you to ignore Mommy until you are thirty-five does not work. Small children ask about eight million questions in a single day. The answers to those questions go a long way toward forming the kind of adults they will become. Who will be answering those questions for your children?

Yes, I made a mistake

Two incidents happend to me yesterday, I learnt something from it, I learnt to accept my mistakes & admit it as well as confrunt & apologise to whom it consurned. I also learned who really genuine & who is not.

The Aunty Zahra called me in the morning, told me that I didn't inform her I was picking up Salma despite she doesn't have any objection to for Salma to be with me, I apologized to her and admited for my irrisponsible action and asured her it won't happen again, she justified her reasons for telling me that and I agreed with her, I respect her more then ever that she didn't waste the time and called me within less then one hour since I picked up Salma, I aknowledge her careness.


Another incedint happend in the evening of the samr day while I went to visit one of my relatives. I walked in the room and greeted two people (thier grade are as my parents) out of three and I didn't reaise I didn't greet the third person (whose like my sister) and walked out of the room.

It seems the 1st & the 3rd persons commented about my action towards the third person. So the 2nd person told them that she will talk to me when she sees me, they refused but she insisted.

The 2nd person called me later at night and told me about my action, I told her I didn't realise that and apologised as I didn't mean to ignore or disrespect the 3rd person and she understood and accepted my version of the story as saw how I looked while greeting her. I was shocked that no one had alart me at the same moment or tell me what I did was wrong by confronting me at the same time.

The above incidents made me realised how simple action can be positively or negatively been translated by people.


Note: Names are not real, it has been changed to protect people's privacy.


From Global news, today, people globally celebrating 'Earth Hour', it's an ECO friendly hour, the world switch off their lights, i.e. no using electrisity for one hour, which means no light polution for one hour. Correct me if I am wrong, from 8:30 PM to 9:30PM and some not all cities are perticipated in this Eco event.

Move it away

While I was at the mall with my sister and cousins killing time until our delayed appointment came arround, an incident had happend or more of an action my cousin did, she picked up someone's ice cream's cup from the empty table and trashed it inside the nearest bin, while the rest of us moved the chairs towards us inorder to sit.

After we were seated, my cousin was telling her sister if she should pick up an empty pepar bag from the floor beside her, her sister critisaised her and sugested to pick up all the trash from the flour. My cousin said something her father told her, "If you see something on the floor and you think someone may fall because of it, pick it up or move it out of the way, or it will back fire on you." I agreed wirh her for what her father told her.

While I am typing the above sentence I remembered an incident happend with me, which actually happend yesterday while I was at the hair saloon that's similer to my cousin's action, the hair dresser was busy setting up my sister's hair some hair accessories were falling on the floor, I started picking them up on her behalf as she couldn't because she's 8 months pregnent, she didn't ask me to do so, but I felt like helping her. She was supprised for my action and told me not to bother but I couldn't. She's gave her time for us then to rest.

All I can say, that both of us had some same principles that we follow, which our religion advised us to do the same.

Lazy to write

I want to share with you'll allot of things, but too lazy to type. I'll push my self to write what been happening arround me since last Feb 2009.

Ok, let me start about one of my weekends dated back to the midnight of 20th Feb, my phone alarm rang, I woke up (jumbed out of my skin) and picked up the phone, a reminder showed up 'Baba's birthday' I vividly smiled and read Surat Alfatihah for his soul and went back to sleep. At the evening, my sister and I were driving down town and we started recalling my late dad's gesture and his unforgettable sentences. God bless his Soul.


On 24th of Feb, the next weekend, I went with my sister, cousin and her niece who is one and half years of age, to one of international Pizza franchise, the girl who was trying to imitate her Aunt my eating with fork but couldn't pick up the salads with it, ends up removing the napkin from arround her nack, stating rebalient against aticate (she is a kid), but she made my day with her smile.


My last weekend was on 5th of March, my cousin got married, as the Aqd or religious marriage ceremony was at the Masjid been held by the men. I cried when I got the message from her brother that its over she became offically 'Mrs' and ended the lifecylce of 'Miss'. I called and wished her then met her at the saloon with the rest of the female members.

Wedding reception took place in the evening and everyone looked outstanding specially my sister and I. The brideamaids looks good too and managed well despite one day rehearsals or in the correct words few hours only.


I was planning to get the BB Bold, but the it was out of stock in all the stores of my mobile operator. I've changed my plans to get one until the 2nd half of the year, as I need to spend my money on something more importent.


One day, I drove to an offsite ATM machine, my sister got down and when she came back, she was laughing, she said "Also the mutawa flirt with Nasheed," it turned out a religious man who had long beard was flirting in a religious way.


Friendi Mobile will soon be on air in Oman, now the booking for numbers for free is available via friendimobile.om and various locations since 09-Mar-09, but the site booking has been a problem for too many visitors. I tried several times since 09-Mar-09 to book for one, but no luck, too many technical problems.

However, the CEO of Friendi Mobile been communicating with people via the local forums, such as English Sabla and Omanforum, I thank Muscati and arun for informing me about it via Twitter.


UAE may follow to ban YouTube after Pakistan in February 2008 and Bangladesh 1st week of March 2009.


The world Celebrating Birth of the Prophet Muhammad (ASW), which occurs in Rabi' al-awwal, the third month in the Islamic calendar, and defer from one country to another depending on the visibility of moon and when the new Islamic calander started.


That's all for now.

I'll try to keep updating you'll as soon as I am free to type.

And the award goes to ..

If you ask me, "If you had chance to change your father", "Who will you choose insted?" I'll say, "my father".

I will never want to change or replace him, he was the most loving, kind and fair father I ever had, he was full of life and joy, he was a genarous and gentalman.

He always talked about history and politics. He enjoyed watching animated movies and cartoons, specially Tom & Jery.

Allah Yerhamu.

A year of makeover

By end of 2008, I had some relapses in my life, as I let the death of my father take over my life, I never took care of my appearance and had health setbacks,.

Yesterday, my Aunt and my sister talked to me about it, they said I had to start to take care of my self, appearance, etc. I couldn’t tell them the reason, I won’t lie that I noticed my self, and I don’t know why I let my self.

I promised them I’ll change, and I really want to. it’s a personal challenge. I have to makeover in allot of things, personally, socially and career.

I have downloaded Google Chorme and I’ll try it out, I hope its up to my expectations.

From temporary to permanent burden

I never knew I was a burden to some people until two months after my late father’s death. I never felt how some people I always looked up to them and considered them part of my cycle.

It turned out they are trying to get rid of me though marriage proposal. A question several questions was asked to me:
“Are you ready to accept to marry an pure Omani?”
“What is your criteria for your future Husband?”
“The reason I am asking, is my daughter in law’s mother went to this lady who found a husband for her daughter and now she’s the wife for my son, she is coming soon and I want you to give my your list so I can tell her to find you a husband.”

She posed for a while and continued “If you already have someone”,
she posed again and said with a higher peach of tone “Let him come fast and propose.”

I just smiled and nodded.

The whole night I was thinking, I am burden but not for long and I thank God for showing me the path.

Now it sinked in

The day of Eid, I felt my heart has just crashed, it just sinked in, my father has died, I won't go to see him today nor tomorrow or for the rest of my life; I won't wish be able to wish him, to see his face full of suprise and happiness expression of seen me and my sibling came to greet him in the morning.

I walked to my baby sister and told her how I felt, couple of days ago we were arguing about reducing number of houses we have to visit, on that day I disagreed with her, but in Eid morning, I told her I'm fine with it, I managed to reduce over half of the houses, we both couldn't manage to walk-in allot of people, our heart couldn't take it anymore, we were mourning in our on way all this time, trying to be braive.

When we went to have Eid breakfast for the first time in my life since moved in Oman, I greeted my uncle then I ran back to my room, I cried for the first snice my dad's death.

I am just praying for him when ever I remember him. I miss him allot.

I feel my life has changed allot, my principles and concept of life, family, etc. I realised I am not social enough that I don't visit most of my relatives and don't know most of them. I don't want to be unknown or forgoten, I don't want to be a stranger within my people.

Marriage/fan ...

What is Marriage?

Based on Britannica as follows:

Marriage a legally and socially sanctioned union, usually between a man and a woman, that is regulated by laws, rules, customs, beliefs, and attitudes that prescribe the rights and duties of the partners and accords status to their offspring (if any). The universality of marriage within different societies and cultures is attributed to the many basic social and personal functions for which it provides structure, such as sexual gratification and regulation, division of labour between the sexes, economic production and consumption, and satisfaction of personal needs for affection, status, and companionship; perhaps its strongest function concerns procreation, the care of children and their education and socialization, and regulation of lines of descent. Through the ages marriages have taken a great number of forms.

I came across a married couple and by end of the year they are expecting their first new child. They haven’t agreed on naming the child if it is a boy.

They both don’t want to name him by their father’s name but the man wants to name him on his wife father’s name. their reasons are the same (repeated name in the family). He’s response “I am the one who will register the name in the birth certificate and you just carry the baby for nine months.” he repeated the same sentence several times and I was shocked to hear that. I tried to convince him that they should agree together on one name but he refused.

I realised that he was ignorant and didn’t respect his wife at all. He also didn’t understand what is marriage all about. He’s understanding is sex, have kids and bully her; and the history is repeating.



I don't know them..
Another incident of the same man, he took his childhood photo off the family frame, he didn’t want his in-laws to see it, he is either embarrassed about the photo.

My conclusion, he is embarrassed from his family and him self too. He is in confidence.



A fan of Abdullah Al Amadi
I have recently became addicted to articles written by Abdullah Al Amadi, a Qatari article writer in Al Watan, an Arabic Omani newspaper, he inspired me allot.

Notes of life

Greetings,
It’s been a while, away from the visual life, the Second Life. All of things been going on, engagements, weddings, death, ups and downs, challenges, teamwork, etc.

Oman in ‘Second Life’ Map
About the Second Life, Sultanate of Oman government is planning to promote it self as a country in Internet-based virtual world ‘Second Life’ for tourism purposes; its just an idea, hope it will pay.

Engagements and weddings
last week Big Moe has finally tied the knot for second time alhamdulillah, and the wedding reception will be after one week from now.

End of life
As birth is the start of life so Death is the end of the life, that’s the cycle of life no one knows how it ends, it can end in many forms including predation, disease, habitat destruction, senescence, malnutrition and accidents or physical injury; only God ‘Allah’ knows how it happens and what the reason behind it.

Why am I talking about death? It’s been one week since the death of my colleague who worked at the same building for some times but it was the first time I spoke to him was the day before he passed away to next life. He ended his journey on earth and he is now living in his new home ‘the grave’ and started the next journey of life until the judgment day, if Allah will his last journey will be in the Haven, and I believe he will be, he may already have beautiful castles because of been devoted Muslim and his support to the people in need in form of donations etc with out boosting or telling to anyone.

When I saw him, I seen a glow in his face, happiness and that made me believe he is a devoted Muslim.


Ups and downs/ challenges/ teamwork, etc.
I was feeling stressed for sometime because of work and studies, etc; I got tied up with allot of stuff at the same time, that messed me up for nearly three months. Thank God ‘Allah’ that I managed to sort some of things out and got through it.

It was a challenge for me and I managed to be my self, with out God and everyone who have supported me, I wouldn’t have managed to get through it. Teamwork and motivation makes a difference.

Addicted to ‘Owned’
I got addicted to ‘Owned’ (Own Your Friends! Give Human Gifts! Put yourself on the market and find out how much you’re worth!) by posting some photos, buying other people artistic photos, etc. I now worth over one million.

That’s all for now, time to go to bed, think of getting up to catch up with my studies.

Taxi of life

Yesterday while my sister and I driving back home, we past an internet café which in the neighbourhood we live, she said:

“Subhana Allah (Praise to Allah or God in Arabic language), we used to come here (the internet café) to use the net and now we have 3G.”

Then she continued saying,

“We must not forget from where we were.”

Her phase simulated my mind and I recalled the times I used several internet cafés for one year and a half because we didn’t have a fixed phone line at our resident (and still don‘t have), after Gonu incident, I subscribed to the 2nd mobile company Nawras in the country for internet facility and after 6 months upgraded to the 3G+ facility with the same company.

I realized that we all ride taxi of life and got through different stops/station of life and see as well as hear too many things, which never keep record to track nor try to remember to learn or to pass the experience to others, as we are too obsessed with materialistic.

The topic name ‘Taxi life’ has been derived from a book in Arabic titled “Taxi, tales of rides” by first-time author Khalid Al Khamissy.